Let The Masks Fall- Part 1

She walked swiftly. Ignoring the idle banter of the people around her, she made her way to the exit as fast as her high heels could take her. She quickly stepped into the waiting limo and instructed the chauffeur to drive her home. As she tried to catch her breath and took a swig of champagne, she started to think of the party she had just left in a huff.

We all live dramatic lives. We all hide secrets and carry around baggage while desperately trying to exude a sense of normalcy in our lives. We have scars no one can see and we wear masks that never slip off. We live life pretending like everything is great, we try to convince others of our happiness in an attempt to convince ourselves. We only know the true state of our minds late at night when we settle in to get some sleep. Those few moments between consciousness and sleep is when we stop kidding ourselves and realize that we are in too deep.

Miranda Lauren Berry lived a dramatic life too. The only difference being that her secrets were darker and her baggage, so heavy that it could drag several people down with her. ย There are some things everybody knows and loves about Miranda Berry. This wide eyed petite brunette made headlines the minute she stepped onto Hollywood boulevard. Her wholesomeness caught the eye of scouts and she starred in a major motion picture which went on to shatter all records at the box office. Her likable personality and commendable performances made her a favorite with the directors and movie goers alike and soon she became a force to reckon with.

It was hard to believe that the shy, polite and elegant Miranda Berry once killed a man.

The image she had in this new country was far from the truth. Originally from a small town in rural Veracruz in Mexico, she was mostly known for her sudden bouts of anger and destructive tendencies. Her family helped cover for her when she stabbed her senior prom date 37 times simply because he said something she didn’t like. The body was buried in the woods behind the family house by her father and brother and she was locked away in a mental institution. Neighbors and friends were told Miranda got into a college overseas. A letter was forged and sent to the house of her prom date stating how he had run away to start a new life on his own and how he wished nobody tried to contact him again.

Things started to slowly get back to normal for the Berrys until one day when they received a call from the mental facility informing them that Miranda had run away. The Berrys pleaded with the facility to not call the police. They later spun yet another story to protect their daughter by telling her doctors how she had run away and come home to them and how they wished to keep her there for a few days. It was after this that the frantic search for Miranda Berry began.

***

The car pulled into her driveway and she realized her front lawn was filled with reporters. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She had been doing great this past year and had never let anger get the better of her. She stayed in character and kept up the facade at all times. But she felt particularly on the edge tonight. Specially after what had happened at the party. This was not the time to mess everything up, she told herself. Not after all that she had achieved. She took another swig of champagne, put on her smile and took a few deep breaths. She stepped out of the car looking poised and flawless as usual. The ย papparazzi went wild. they had a million questions to ask her and they all jostled to get a good picture of her. With flashing cameras everywhere she slowly made her way to her front door. ” Miranda Berry! how does it feel to be the front runner for the Oscars for your very first movie?” ” Hey Miranda! are you nervous for the big ceremony tomorrow?” “Any message for the thousands of young girls who idolize you?” ” How are you so perfect at all times?” “Have you ever really had a slip up?”

She turned around and faced the cameras with her million dollar smile. ” I am so overwhelmed by all the love and respect I have received from you all in this past year. I feel so honored to be nominated for the prestigious Oscars. I am here to inspire little girls with big dreams and always do the best I can. I feel rewarded every time my work gets appreciated. I do not think I am perfect, though. I am still learning and the only thing I ever want to be is a good person. I love making people around me happy” with that she gracefully made her way into her home. She quickly ran upstairs and opened the refrigerator to get something to drink. She then opened the deep freezer to say hello to her housekeeper Linda who she had killed last week.

***

It was Miranda Berry’s big day! She was backstage getting a final touch up. They would be announcing the winner in a few minutes from now. Miranda was a bundle of nerves. She wanted this award more than she had ever wanted anything. Her personal assistant Larry walked in and told her there was someone who had come to see her. She distractedly told him to send him in, assuming it was another reporter.

In walked in her older brother Scott. Miranda froze. She couldn’t be dealing with this right now. She told her make up lady to leave the room. Breathe in, Breathe out, she told herself again and again. Scott looked oddly nervous and for once, he seemed to be at a loss of words. He ran a finger through his dark hair and looked his little sister in the eye. “You cannot walk away from me Miranda. You shouldn’t have left the party yesterday”

“And you cannot come barging into my life like that” she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.

” You need to come home with me Miranda, this is not safe you do not belong here” he reasoned.

” This is what I want now Scott this is my life please leave or I will have to call security” She tried walking out but Scott caught her arm. “You cannot leave. You have to come with me. you are a danger Miranda I really want you to get better. Come on let’s go back. If you will not let me take you, I will have to go out there and tell everybody the truth about you. It doesn’t matter if I have to go to jail after that. I cAnnot let you continue with this act.” Miranda smiled at her brother. A sense of calmness filled her insides. She picked up the candle stand from the table next to her and hit her brother hard on the head, just once. His grip on her arm loosened and he fell to the ground with a dull thud. She heard her name being announced. She had won! She smoothened her hair and made her way out on stage. Locking the door, and her past, behind her. She walked onto the stage to receive her honor. She looked pristine in a white dress. She would have to deal with the body later. The sudden realization dawned upon her that her baggage had just gotten a lot more heavier.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Advertisements

40 thoughts on “Let The Masks Fall- Part 1”

  1. I think this is a very good first post. What’s interesting is that the whole thing is told in past tense, but there are parts, like the first paragraph, that are happening as you read it, and other parts, like paragraphs 3-5, that are filling you in on what’s come before. I think it’s always more engaging for the reader to read about what’s happening right now than to read the fill-in parts. I would suggest titling the balance towards what is happening, rather than toward what’s already happened. It was a good read, the first paragraph hooked me and the second took me somewhere I wasn’t expecting based on the last line of the first. And I liked these lines very much:

    “We only know the true state of our minds late at night when we settle in to get some sleep. Those few moments between consciousness and sleep is when we stop kidding ourselves and realize that we are in too deep.”

    Yes, I’ve had some really visceral thoughts at that time of night, for sure.

    Good job, looking forward to more!

    ~ Walt

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This story has a lot of potential! Don’t rush it, though. I like the way unpleasant information sneaks out from between calm sentences, but I hope future chapters will take time to show their events cinematically rather than summing things up too soon! Keep at it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great first run! As the other bloggers have commented, keep it at a steady pace and don’t be afraid to let us discover the juicy titbits as we unravel the story. I’m sure you’ll have great fun turning this into a humourous crime story! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Like

    1. This is the basis for a great plot. I am already wondering where it will go. How far can it go? Will Miranda run for the hills? How long can she remain free after such horrendous crimes? Will she form an unlikely alliance?

      I think that you need to find yourself a food proof-reader and editor though. It needs some reviewing and revision. Perhaps you have a friend who can help you out? I am happily in the position that I work with a couple of friends in a mutual collaborative arrangement.

      keep it going. Looking forward to the next episode.

      Like

  4. I do agree with some of the earlier comments, as well: the shifts between the present and the backstory is slightly jarring, but I love the way the incredible details are just dropped in so matter-of-factly. My jaw actually dropped with the reveal of her housekeeper being in the freezer!

    I’m forward to reading more ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  5. Wow, this is wonderfully eerie and thoughtful … as the first comment said, my favorite line in this was this one:

    โ€œWe only know the true state of our minds late at night when we settle in to get some sleep. Those few moments between consciousness and sleep is when we stop kidding ourselves and realize that we are in too deep.โ€

    I couldn’t agree more, since most of my thoughts race at midnight . . . kind of like now.
    This is really a lovely story so far. I can’t wait to read more.

    Thanks again for stopping by and leaving such a sweet message on my blog.

    Like

  6. The comments are pretty positive. And they should be. The story line jumps a little but you pull it back in very well. You should try losing the long sentence. If you go “her secrets were darker. Her baggage would take down a studio.” Better pace, a little chop implies drama or builds tension. Good start! Play with pace. Use short paragraphs mixed in.

    Like

  7. Thank you for the comment on my blog. I’m sorry I don’t have the time to give you very detailed feedback but I did have time for a quick read-through. I was unsure at first, but I was drawn in by this sentence: “It was hard to believe that the shy, polite and elegant Miranda Berry once killed a man.”

    I notice that you’re not using punctuation in your dialogue, and that’s one little thing that can make or break your writing when it comes to looking professional. It should go like this:

    ————-

    โ€œYou cannot walk away from me Miranda. You shouldnโ€™t have left the party yesterday.โ€ [Full stop]

    โ€œAnd you cannot come barging into my life like that,โ€ [comma] she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.

    โ€You need to come home with me Miranda, this is not safe you do not belong here,โ€ [comma] he reasoned.

    โ€This is what I want now Scott this is my life please leave or I will have to call security.โ€ [Full stop] She tried walking out but Scott caught her arm.

    [New speaker, new paragraph] โ€œYou cannot leave. You have to come with me. you are a danger Miranda I really want you to get better. Come on letโ€™s go back. If you will not let me take you, I will have to go out there and tell everybody the truth about you. It doesnโ€™t matter if I have to go to jail after that. I cAnnot let you continue with this act.โ€

    ————-

    You can read more about dialogue punctuation on websites like this one: http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/

    I think your descriptions are good, I get quite an eerie feeling while reading this, which is something I like. Your dialogue seems to need a bit of work to make it flow better though.

    This gives me associations to Pretty Little Liars (the show in my case, I’ve never read the books). Pretty girls with a lot of darkness in them. It’s intriguing.

    Keep up the good work ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  8. nyc wrk fr a firstpost ๐Ÿ™‚ … you are writing your heart out.. and it shows ๐Ÿ™‚ keep up the goodwork…. An added tip – just something that came to my mind, dont mind if u dont like it ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ™‚ Play with the characters in your mind, frm the next part focus more on how her head works, what she feels when she kills ,her emotions just prior and after that, keep her psychotic reasons to the end; i think that will increase the dark eerie feeling that this story gives out.. Any which ways, this story is gonna b a blockbuster ๐Ÿ™‚ all the best ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  9. You have a very straightforward writing style. A little rough in some places, but it is obvious you are very talented. The more you write the better you will become. When I first started writing for my blog, it took me awhile to formulate my own style. Just keep doing what you are doing. Your writing is already great.

    Like

  10. One of the very fine posts I’ve read in a while, it’s really a wonderful read and had my eyes glued to it all while long. Commendable work I must say!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s